Happy New New Year
by NullNoMore
Summary: The Ma-non are throwing a New Year's Party. Jack needs a date. Lila the OC needs an outfit. We all hope the tower turns green and all our people, native and new, are safe and loved. Set after Ch. 8, spoilers to that. Fluff, lots of xenos, and one (1) swear. All the good stuff belongs to Monolith Soft, as well as all my thanks.


**a/n: Happy happy happy New Year. Not on Mira, of course, on the Ma-non ship, silly.**

 **Fluff, too much dialogue, one (1) swear, and written in under 3 hours, so TYPOS! Also, Jack and Lila standing awkwardly next to each other.**

 **All the good stuff belongs to Monolith Soft. Gino, Twyleth, Ricky Bobby, and Lila are mine, every other named character is canon.**

* * *

"Lila. Can I have a minute?"

"Sure, Commander." Lila Brown glanced across the Auxiliary Skell Refueling Station 1. Still fairly early, and quiet as it usually was on Saturdays. The other employee Gino was getting on with a heavy skell refueling with remarkably little swearing, not surprising since those were always his favorite to work on. Gino plus baby skells? Lila shuddered at the memory.

"So, what can I do for you, sir?"

"I need a date."

"Er. April 29th. How's that?"

"What?" He stared down on her.

Once again, her humor had failed to meet its target. She shrugged. "So, you want me to set you up with someone. Who?"

"You."

Lila's eyes flew open wide. "No. Oh, no. We've been over this before, sir, and that was a total misunderstanding."

"Not a misunderstanding. We were framed by an evil child genius. I'm serious about it this time."

"No."

"Stop backing away like I'm a plasma rupture, Brown. You're better than that."

Lila stopped and frowned. Then she improved her stance, calmed her face, and looked him directly in the eye. A long way up for her, but she'd risk a crick in her neck. "Start again, sir."

"Good girl. I need a date for an event and you're it."

"An order, sir? Need I remind you, I'm not BLADE."

"For which I am grateful multiple times a day." He scrubbed his neck. "It's a diplomatic function and I need to take someone."

"So take someone."

"You."

She hesitated. "If I say 'no' again, we'll be back to the start. Tell me the truth."

"You think I'm lying to you? You're the terrible poker player."

"Yes, I think you're leaving something out. Tell me and I'll say yes." She crossed her arms and tapped her foot in an exaggerated manner.

He was scrubbing his neck so hard, he was going to give himself burn marks. "Someone else has been suggested. I'd rather avoid that."

Lila started to grin. "Oh please, make this good. Hector."

"Him I could handle. Worse."

"Who is worse than…"

"It's Eleonora, all right?"

Lila covered her face with both hands, and made a strangled "eep" noise. Peeking through her fingers, she asked him, "You and Eleonora, please save me. Chaussen could hand over the keys to NLA already." Her eyes were sparkling like rising energy mist.

"It's not that funny."

"Poor baby. Of course, yes, I will protect you from the big bad Eleonora. When is the event?"

"1300."

"That's 5 hours for now! Procrastinate much, sir?"

"I hoped somebody would drop the idea."

"If somebody means Eleonora, you were deluding yourself, sir. Fine. 1300. Dress? Location? Actual name of event?"

"The Ma-non are holding a sort of New Year's party on the ship."

"It's not even close to …"

"Their calendar, Brown, not ours. The anniversary of the ship's commissioning."

"Oh, the ship. In that case, I'd love to come."

"I probably should have led with that. I forgot you have a thing for boats."

"To the bone, sir. I should meet you by the transport at 1300?"

"A little before that."

"Dress?"

"Formal attire." He hesitated and almost cringed. "I'm wearing my whites."

Lila's smile flickered out, to be replaced with a curiously flat expression. "I can't wear my uniform."

"Why not?"

"First of all, destroyed in the crash."

"So get a new one."

"Second of all, I'm not BLADE. I'm not crew. I'm …"

"Huh. I see your point. Not that the little squeakers really would notice, but someone would get huffy. It might be worth it, though, to see H.B. get twisted."

"Your order to stop teasing him still stands. I'll think of something else. 1230, transport, I'll be there."

Xcxcxcxcswitchxcxcxcxc

It is remarkable how inventive one can be, when faced with a deadline and the inability to leave the Administrative Hangar. Strictly speaking, Lila could get to anywhere in NLA, but the wear and tear on her psyche due to extreme agoraphobia usually required a few hours of recovery. The kind of recovery that required lying down, her face pressed deep into pillows or mud, humming gentle gospel songs rather than screaming, and sometimes not even avoiding that. Or a full shut down of a good half hour, with careful reset; she'd had Gino do that more than once for her. But there wasn't time for that, so she needed to find some work arounds.

Cleanliness came first. No shower in her repurposed shipping container office. Mims don't sweat much, so there wasn't much need. But skells leaked grease and other fluids, and that tended to build up on a person. Didn't smell bad, didn't feel bad, so she tended to let it go for a couple days before crawling off to find a shower. On any day of the week, she wasn't terribly rank, but she wasn't party fresh either.

Solution: pressure washer, set as low as possible, tank top and shorts, and the kind assistance of Gino. They needed to clean off the occasional skell tread at the station. Why replace what just needed a good deep clean, right? It seemed like a possibility. She'd been hesitant to ask Gino to help. With cause. His enthusiasm for the project was frightening.

"Before we start, may I say two words? Please, Lila, please?"

"Let 'er rip, Gino."

"Oh, you don't have to ask twice. Ahem. Women's prison." The force of the water almost knocked her flat. She almost could hear his laughter over the sound of the stream. Five minutes later, there was no question about her being clean enough to attend any function, including open heart surgery without mask or gloves.

Once she'd stopped rattling, she started to worry about clothes. Her housemates in the Residential Section could trot anything over to her that she asked. Problem was, there wasn't much variety, and all of it was work related. Coveralls, work coveralls, prototype coveralls, yeah, not really formal attire even by Ma-non standards. She slipped out her comm device and called Alexa.

"Lila, you're calling the wrong shop. I don't do clothes. I do armour."

"This is a diplomatic event. That's exactly what I'm wearing, even if it looks like a little black dress."

"Huh. Lemme pass you over to someone. Hey, Hannah!" There was a pause and jumble of shots of deck and ceiling as Alexa presumably passed the device to the person in question.

"Hello?" A sweet-faced angel replaced the peppery Outfitter. "Hi! Alexa says you need some fashion advice."

Lila was a little stunned by the elaborate pile of curls on the speaker's head, but found her voice in a minute. "Yes. I need something pretty, for a party, and within 2 hours. But I can't get to the commercial district."

"Oh. Well, I'm not really anybody's personal shopper. I give advice, but that's about it."

"I'm not asking that of you. I mean, I'm asking for advice. Is there anything I can pick up at Armory Alley that could pass as that?"

"Candid and Credible has some pretty cute stuff."

"Brilliant! You're a genius. Any tips?"

"Mix and match the weights, unless you were a big fan of Sailor Scouts anime as a kid."

With the help of that piece of advice, Lila was ready and waiting by the transporter at precisely 1228. No makeup, because the thought of buying something like that at L's shop was a risk she wasn't going to take. Hair in a tight single braid, slightly greenish at the tips. She tried not to fidget.

At 1248, approximately (because she only looked at her device every other minute), Vandham arrived. He was a veritable vision in his white Forerunner's uniform. Lila's face went blank again, although her breathing wasn't 100% calm. She noted he was still wearing his standard work boots.

"What the hell are you wearing?"

"Appropriate attire, sir."

"You're gonna catch pneumonia."

"It's surprisingly comfortable. Also, I'm protected from most electrical attacks."

"You are not going into battle."

"This is Ma-non designed gear, sir. I thought I'd be showing them some respect. The other option was a sweater and jeans. Or coveralls." She picked up a small box resting at her feet.

Vandham grunted. After a moment of frowning silence, he offered her his arm. "Shall we?"

"Pleasure." With that, they stepped into the magic circle. A sparkle and they had arrived up at the Ma-non ship.

Vandham kept a good grip on Lila's hand, for which she was grateful. The open platform of the Ma-non ship wasn't a great distance, but there was nothing between her and the deadly sky until they reached the door to the starboard side. She was shivering like a dog by the time they reached it, and the stumbles that had marred her stride had nothing to do with the unfamiliar footwear.

"What's in the box, Technician Brown?" Vandham asked formally.

It took a moment for Lila to speak. She replied with just as much control. "Sir, hostess gift, sir."

"And what would that be?"

"Sir, root beer, sir."

"This is a formal event, Brown. You do not bring gifts."

"I'm not official in any capacity, sir. Besides, I wanted to see if they knew about it yet." Again, she felt grateful that he was shaking her back into functionality, no humming required.

Another grunt, and a small smile. "That could be a riot."

"I do my best for human-xeno relations."

The main starboard hall was filled to capacity, all levels. BLADE, Prone, Nopon, and the other xenos mixed and chatted. Lila thought she spotted Professor B at one end, excitedly talking with an Orphe. L was gesturing to a group of young Prone female, forming shapes with his hands that mirrored their curves. They seemed to be deeply complimented by this attention. Vandham found a stray Ma-non, passed the case of root beer off to her, and steered himself towards the front of the hall. Lila kept close. It was easy to trail in his wake, but if she let too much space between them, she'd have to push through the crowd a bit.

Before they reached the lower front of the hall, Vandham stopped. "Lila."

"Yes, sir."

"It would probably be better if you stayed here."

"Official stuff, sir? I get it."

"Nothing personal."

"None of this is personal, sir. I'm just helping out."

"Thanks. I owe you pizza or something."

"There's pizza right over there. I'll grab a bite and see if I can't scout an Orphe for my station while I'm waiting." She nodded and gave him a little shove towards the group of officials clustered around the trio of Ma-non leaders.

The pizza was … interesting. Melon, ketchup and fatty fish belly was an acquired taste. Even more … interesting was a platter of native Ma-non nutrition sticks. Each was the about 2cm by 5 cm, tapered at both ends. They resembled a cross between tofu, applesauce, and sawdust. The Ma-non getting another serving of pizza watched her chewing one. "We usually just swallow them whole, okay? No point wasting time on on on those things? Faster down, faster you can forget it."

"I'd probably choke."

"A valid response, I agree. Malnutrition has been a problem among my people for years, mostly because it was so so so disappointing to actually consume this stuff, okay? So pizza is literally a life saver for some of us."

Lila was deep into a discussion about the wonders of pizza before she realized. The female Ma-non was all a-twitter about the possibility of building her own pizza oven with her fiancé. "We can spend more time together instead of waiting in lines, right?" Lila found this very sweet if a little hyper-focused. She was about to ask if there were non-pizza-related hobbies among the Ma-non when she heard a familiar voice.

"Lila! Lila! We have a big big big problem, okay?"

"Twyleth! Have we run out of pizza? Because there are still a few pies here but but but not many."

The Ma-non station employee stopped and covered her mouth with her hands. She took a breath deep enough to lift her onto her toes and continued calmly. "Nothing like that, Yuyu. Can I borrow Lila for a moment?" For someone so tiny, Twyleth was ruthless in pushing Lila away from the buffet table. It was like being herded by a hamster.

"So what's …"

"Shhhh! Ricky Bobby isn't here!"

"Oh. It's his shift at the station." Ricky Bobby, the fourth employee of the refueling station, human, built like a warrior but peaceful like a rainbow, was fast becoming Twyleth's favorite person in the galaxy. No wonder she was upset. If he'd skipped her invite, she probably felt heart-broken.

"He should be here, Lila!"

Lila tried to calm the little xeno. "Don't worry. He probably forgot that you invited him. He does that."

"I didn't invite him, okay?"

"Um, then he probably doesn't know you'd like him to be here." Lila deftly switched a face-palm into a casual forehead rub. "Let's call him now."

"You call him."

As she swiped open her comm device, Lila couldn't help but ask. "Just as a question, but why didn't you invite him?"

"Pfeffen and the other delegates invited him, because he's a guest of of of honor, right? He's supposed to get an award, because he's so so so so awesome."

Hmmm, four repeats that time. Twyleth was definitely liking Ricky Bobby. Well, the whole ship had something of a crush going on the red-haired grease monkey. He'd defended the Ma-non ship, in style and nearly single-handed, from a small splinter group of Ganglion during the Attack on New Los Angeles. Lila changed her plan, dialing Gino. She rattled off a string of instructions, and snapped it closed before Gino could pollute the air with a single curse. Then she repeated it, by text. Then a quick text to Lara Mara, as back-up.

"Gino will get him here in under 5 minutes, or I will let you use him for fuel."

"Gino? Or Ricky Bobby? And we don't use organic based fuel, very bad for the environment."

"Your choice. Hey, how about you go meet Ricky Bobby? He's probably having trouble, understanding all that's going on. You know how that makes him uncomfortable."

"He's just the bravest, isn't he? I'll go help him right away!" Lila had never seen a Ma-non really sprinting. They jumped, bounced, and skipped. Twyleth took off with a form that would do an Olympic runner proud.

This left Lila with the chance to wander about some more. It wasn't long before she had indeed found a group of locust-like Orphe and was carefully feeling them out about working in the exciting world of vehicle maintenance and fuel pumping. One of them, clearly a new local hatch based on his red coloring, seemed interested, but questioned if he had enough body strength. Lila was trying to figure the best way to politely test that. Arm wrestling? If he could hold out against her mim for more than 5 seconds, he'd do. Before that diplomatically-questionable attempt could start, there was a chiming sound that rolled through the hall. Confetti drifted from the ceiling.

"Did we miss the anniversary?" burbled one of the Orphe.

"No. We must attend the speeches of our hosts," directed another.

Indeed, the confetti was actually small video displays, insubstantial and hovering at all angles and levels. Each one copied the same view. Several Ma-non, as well as BLADE and xeno representatives, were standing formally and more or less uncomfortably around the bridge of the ship, a simple glowing circle at the front of the hall. Lila spotted a wall of white that was Vandham, next to the similarly clad form of the Captain. Make that Secretary of Defense Nagi. Nagi looked a lot less nervous than anyone else in the frame. Lila allowed herself a small smile of pride. Captain got you all down, and Ganglion better watch out too.

"Friends, we are so so so glad you could be here, okay? And speeches are just the worst, so I'm not saying anthing more."

A second Ma-non, standing beside the speaker, gave a skip of annoyance. "Thank you, Rutantan. But maybe you should explain why we are having this party, right?"

"Announcements are just as bad. Can't they just search it up on FrontierNav?"

The second Ma-non was pulling his ears with distress. "We really need to be efficient, maybe? And tell them all at once?"

"You do it, then, Pfeffen, because I think I need pizza now."

Pfeffen suddenly took on a look of beatific calm. "Pizza is definitely an excellent idea, I agree. So, I'll do it and and and fast. Our precious ship took its first small voyage 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 days ago, and traditionally we have a small party, right? But now that we know about pizza, and have so many friends, we figured we could maybe go big, right?"

Lila was amazed. "10 to the…. I don't think the universe is that old!"

The elder Orphe placed a claw upon her shoulder. "I believe the Ma-non are using binary. That makes it about a hundred of your years. Assuming the rotational measure is the same," he explained quietly.

"Also, we really should say something nice about BLADE, because of saving us from the Ganglion and bringing us the majesty of pizza and stuff, right? You guys like to be thanked, I think. But there are so many of you, and so much pizza, so we decided just to to to pick one representative that is neither. Neither BLADE nor pizza, I mean, but totally cool. Come on down!"

A red-haired figure, tall and broad and still wearing orange work coveralls, stumbled onto the bridge area. He was being not so much led as dragged by a small grey Ma-non female. Ricky Bobby and Twyleth.

"Right, Ricky Bobby, welcome and stuff. You did so so so great when we were evacuating the city, okay? I was there, so I totally agree when people say you saved our hides from death or enslavement or a combo deal, understand? But your name is dumb, so we've decided to call you Shield of the Ma-non from now on, much better sounding, don't you think?"

"Pfeffen, less talking, more pizza."

"Right, that's it. Have fun, kids, but don't eat all the the the watermelon and suid slices because at least twelve of those are mine, okay? Pies, not slices."

That was it for the diplomatic formalities. The video screens evaporated in a multicolored sparkle of mist, and the guests cheered for a few moments, before returning to the party.

Lila made her way to the front area, where she watched as Ricky Bobby was practically covered by a tide of Ma-non well-wishers. He was still holding Twyleth's hand in his own, and his eyes were so wide you could see as much white as blue. In a moment, he might panic. Lila moved decisively.

"Okay, folks, the Shield has got to go now. You should go eat some pizza in his honor. A lot of pizza, to show how grateful you are. Get cracking." She shooed the fanboys and girls away, in one case picking one up and depositing him a meter away. "Twyleth, get Ricky back to the station. He still needs to finish his shift. Maybe take some pizza for Gino?"

"Yes, Lila, we can do that, sure. And some pizza for us too?"

"As much as you can carry."

"Ricky Bobby has the biggest arms, okay? We can carry so so so much pizza, yes!"

Lila watched the pair move determinedly towards the exit. A moment later, she felt more than saw another large-armed presence behind her.

"Sending the hero back to work? Not very nice of you."

"He isn't much for parties, sir. And Twyleth is happy wherever he is, especially if there's pizza too."

"How are you for parties?"

"Honestly? I could bear to go back to the station myself. My legs are getting cold."

"I'm surprised other parts aren't getting cold."

"It could have been worse. There is some weird stuff on sale in the Alley."

"You should have seen the things that Professor B offered to produce. There's a reason his company doesn't sell armour. Want an escort home?"

"Yes, please. And Happy New Year, sir."

"Happy New Year, Brown. Hope it's a good one."

"I hope the tower turns green and all our people, native and new, are safe and loved."

"Your lips to God's ear, Lila. I'll do my best."

"I know you will, sir."

* * *

 **a/n: What is wrong with me? (Eldest Child: Uh, many things?) Almost no editing on this monster, and I have no idea where it all came from. It belongs in the Lily and the BLADE arc, but not for another 3 chapters, and I'm not waiting that long. So enjoy, people, and a good slide into the new year.**


End file.
